This Thing Called Life...

I have been working extremely hard on a new chapter in my life. I am now a working mom and it has been consuming. Real estate has blown my socks off and I am so thankful to those of you who have been sending me referrals. You have seen my hard work, my honesty, and my drive to take care of my clients and I am so thankful. Happy Mommy Hour has taken off in a direction that I have always wanted. It’s a place where people, not just moms, can go. It is where we give back while getting to meet new friends. Where we get to experience life, good food, and have a safe place to be ourselves. Despite the daily struggles of life, I am happy with where my life has taken me and the direction it is heading.

Time has a funny way of helping you grow. You change, in some ways drastically. It is not only obvious to yourself but to others as well. There are times when you stick your feet in the mud and do everything in your power not to budge, but change seems to knock on my door about every three years. Little lessons are brought to my attention throughout the year, but the big lessons have a pattern. They seem like hard punches to my stomach, knocking the air out of my lungs. With time, I take a moment, a breath, and pull back and let the reasoning set in.

It’s never pretty at first. My heart is usually broken in pieces. My tears escape my eyes without control. My self-confidence dwindles. Who I am, and what I believe to know, shattered.

I believe most of us are good people. We love, we lift up one another, we spread our light. However, when broken, we can crave answers and demand to be heard. We want to be right and to have others see our truth. The problem is, whose version is right? Whose accounts are accurate? Truth is filtered through the lens of whoever tells the story, how the situation is viewed by others, and what others choose to see. What pieces have others put together on their own without the actual first-hand evidence?

Lately, I have decided to really dig deep. I pray hard, asking God to help me understand. You see, I have recently found myself excluded from some of my closest friends. I may never understand why this has occurred or why someone you love can easily throw you away. I believe people may choose to see you a certain way at times, to make it easier for them to hurt you. However, I no longer need to understand. Instead, I choose to focus on forgiveness, humility, and growth. There comes a moment for all of us when we need to apologize and look at who we truly are. You take the things you don’t like about yourself and you work on them; through God, therapy, alone time, whatever it is you do. There are also times when you know exactly who you are and appreciate what you like about yourself. You clearly see your strengths and all that you bring to your relationships. Hold these insights tight. Don’t let people shatter these beliefs. Lastly, be aware of when it is time to stop fighting for someone to love you.

I have always been surrounded by friends. I was called a butterfly growing up because I honestly like everyone. I wanted to float to every group and have everyone be together. I noticed, even as a young girl, I craved inclusivity. I wanted everyone to like one another. It wasn’t until I became an adult, that I figured out why this was so important to me. I feared that without inclusivity, I may be the one who would be left out. The biggest threat to my childhood existence and today, was to not be liked.

Sometimes you must reflect in order to figure out the meaning of these life lessons. After reflecting, looking at the outcome can be powerful. My family has become my strongest unit; my husband is my best friend. This may have never happened if the current wave of change didn’t come. The biggest issue in our marriage as of late was that I always put my friends first. They were my family, and everything revolved around making them happy. Without my knowledge, my husband began to feel left out. I unintentionally created this wall between my husband and myself. My childhood issues of needing to be loved by friends outweighed the importance of my husband’s desire, to be loved first. I now have my priorities in place.

Life is always going to throw things at you. Know who you are, and what you deserve. I have had so many of the same friends for years. I have had friends since 4th grade, those I met in junior high, college, and the ones I have met in Arizona. Some I still talk to daily; some have disappeared. Change is inevitable. Growth is certain. Don’t let anyone make you feel less than, and only change the parts that you don’t like. Sometimes, what someone doesn’t like about you, is merely a projection of what they lack in themselves or what they see in themselves. So, if you are struggling today, know, you are not alone. I was always scared to do things on my own, but now I feel I have no strings to hold me back. I feel free and more empowered than ever. The insecurities that change may bring are minimal. However, you will truly feel and recognize the reward when you look back and see all the lessons learned and battles you have conquered.

BY BLAIRE LOMETTI-MATHIASIN HAPPY MOMMY REALTOR, MOMMY PROOF:

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