Happy Mommy Hour
Social Media - Do they really have it all?
ou ever look on Social media and think “wow they have it all” ever wonder what goes on behind the scenes? So many of us struggle with the thought that we need to be perfect. Even though it’s the struggle that keeps us relatable?
I’m a mother of 3 boys... yes I said 3 boys, yes I have my hands full, yes I wanted a daughter, no we’re not trying for more. We may foster to adopt in the future but that’s another post.
These are the few questions as a mom of all boys I get asked. Isn’t it funny the questions we ask without having an idea or the depths of insecurity it can cause in others?
Oh Boys...the energy, the wrestling, the constant gun phew phews. repeating myself 5 times to put shoes on, making noises while we do morning bible study , constant farts and stinky feet that could clear a room. They are absolutely crazy and they are all mine and I love them.
They may eat me out of house and home but when they come and cuddle, and tell me how pretty I am, it’s pure gold! Boys have that affect on their mammas. The same time they are driving us insane they can turn around and tell us they love us , completely stopping us in our tracks. Reminding our mommy hearts why we love these tiny humans with all our being.
Well I always want a daughter? Probably. I don’t think that missing piece will ever truly go away. I see my friends and my sister with their daughters and a sadness always comes over me. What would it be like to have a mini me running around. The giggles, the bows, the baby girl outfits I would put her in. The color pink everywhere!!! The spa dates, the shopping, and all the girly stuff I crave.
I’m not sure if very many of you know this but when I miscarried it was incredibly emotional. We decided to go ahead and do IVf. It took two rounds and ended up with a few perfect boys and one decent girl embryo. However before we implanted my life kind of exploded and everything was put on hold.
IVf is emotional and painful and the worlds worst roller coaster ever. You go on these crazy highs and crazy lows and you need those solid people by your side to get you through. The shots in the morning, the shots at night, the hormones, the blood draw, all of this with no guarantee. I mean is there ever a guarantee with anything?
I have seen so many of my friends who have lost. Those who struggle with infertility, to those who have lost children. Each one having a different story that is painful and heartbreaking and hurts you to the core. I know how lucky I am to have 3 healthy boys. I am blessed and loved and say thank you to God daily. I know how hard simple questions asked can be. “Are you having kids? Are you having more children? “ such innocent questions that can cause unknowingly deep pain. So maybe we should stop asking questions when we don’t really care about the answer. Maybe we should start asking “how are you?” Talking less and listening more. Let’s stop asking couples when they are having children, let’s stop asking if they are having more kids, stop with asking are you wanting a girl or a boy? Let’s start asking about their day, start asking about there life, and if you don’t have anything to ask then just stop and listen.
For those reading this who have lost I see you, for those crying because this hurts I’m sorry. For those who have not yet been pregnant i hear you. The doubt, the fear, and the pain will be there but it will not take over. You are brave, you are powerful, you are a woman. We are hear to listen. We are hear for you to cry, we are here to stop asking the insignificant questions and here to start asking the right ones.
With love and patience we are here.