Our Rainbow Baby
I wasn't going to post because of fear of opinions. Then I prayed and God reminded me of what really matters. I have been through the hardest trial of my life this past 6 months. I was betrayed, I was heart broken, and life as I knew it stood still. I honestly had no clue what I was going to do. So already being on my knees I began to cry out. I cried to God to help heal my heart , to help guide my decisions and to help me understand. When that wasn't working, I prayed to feel worth loving again.
Thanks to amazing people in my life and a support system, I was guided to the only place that could really heal me. One of the books that saved me was Fervent by Priscilla Shirer. It taught me how to take my thoughts captive. It's very easy to let other people's sins control your mind. To let someone else's words sink into your mind so uncontrollably that it begins to make you crazy. The devil knows what he's doing and uses every chance he can to detour you from love and peace. I faked a smile more than I could count, I forced myself to laugh when I wanted to cry. I would obsess over every image popped in my head. I was broken! Completely broken.
Then I began to fight. I fought with prayer over my mind and prayer over my heart. Trust me I still have to do this daily, and when I can't seem to overcome it I turn to my friends who pray over me. Surrounding yourself with the right people is powerful. If I could give any advice it's this. Surround yourself with those who enlighten your life. Who make it better. Who support who you want to be.
I wouldn't wish what I have gone through on anyone. It's awful and the pain is still very much here but what the devil came to destroy God came to save. I see huge changes and where there wasn't a light I see God shining. I watch my husband pray with our sons and watch his love for our God grow daily. People may not change but God sure can change people. Sometimes it's ok to walk away and sometimes it's very much ok to fight.
We both decided to fight for our family with God being our guide. He is blessing us for it daily. He's blessed us so much that we have been blessed with adding to our family. God told me very loudly "Give me a year'" well this little love is coming exactly on that year. After miscarrying and IVF twice!!
Gods timing once again prevailed. Definitely not planned but this blessing will be loved more than anything. So we are excited to announce our rainbow 🌈 baby! Baby Mathias will be coming in March.