January Happy Mommy Of The Month
Our Next Happy Mommy of the Month is…drum roll please…Tabitha Yates! She is a brilliant writer and wonderfully bright light. She came into my life about a year ago when she interviewed my husband and me for the cover of the September issue of her magazine, The Valley. In her article, she wrote as if she had known us for years- even though, at the time, she had just met us. She has this sweet soul, and there is a brightness all around her that makes you feel safe. I know it’s because she has overcome so much. She is a powerhouse in the publishing world, and she is someone we look up to here at Happy Mommy Hour.
It is worth noting that she has lived all over the world as a military brat turned military wife. However, she overcame a childhood of physical, verbal, and emotional abuse and adolescence filled with depression, anxiety, and suicidal tendencies and attempts. She never thought her life would ever be worth anything- a sentiment that was frequently affirmed by the people around her. She went on to marry a military officer who was often deployed to combat zones.
Tabitha was left to care for her daughter, who has special needs, on her own.
She spends all her time trying to help her child with therapies that give her the chance at a better life and is also busy with two other children, both boys. Her three children saved her.
They became her purpose and the thing that drove her to get healthy, to heal from past wounds, to always try to be better, and give them better than the dysfunction she grew up with.
These days, Tabitha is a highly published writer who is currently working on her first book. She attained her Master Life Coach certification last year which has given her the opportunity to spend much of her time helping people find their peace. She is the owner and founder of The Redeemed Mama, a website and social media community of almost 10,000 people who seek hope, healing, and humor as they walk through Tabitha’s journey with her. Tabitha is also a newspaper reporter for two local papers in Green Valley as well as the content coordinator for The in Valley: Friends and Neighbors Magazine. She balances her time between homeschooling her children, being involved in her church, writing as well many other hobbies and passions. However, one of her greatest joys has been watching how God has taken all the brokenness she endured in her life and redeemed it for His good.
She firmly believes she wouldn’t have the testimony she does now if she hadn’t walked through all the testing and trials throughout her life. The catchphrase of The Redeemed Mama is “There is no story that cannot end in Redemption,” and Tabitha is living proof of that. We can’t wait to see our local star keep rising to the top. We will be posting her articles the next few weeks, and they are both heartfelt and powerful. Tabitha, we can’t wait to read your first book, and if it's anything like what you have written so far- it will be a powerful story. Thank you for everything you do for us Moms, and if anyone deserves Happy Mommy of the Month, it’s you.
Below is her article, I Think You’re Brave, and it is a fabulous read. You are one strong Mamma, Tabitha! Thank you for sharing your voice.
Trigger warning: Abuse
As a child who grew up in a home with physical, verbal, and emotional abuse…I can tell you that any amount of time, whether it be months or years that a child is subjected to abuse, will leave a mark. There will be damage, hurt, and trust issues. As they grow and mature, an older child or even an adult child may question why their non-abusive parent stayed, and to be brutally honest, no reason the other party gives will feel good enough. It doesn’t feel okay, because having to be abused as a minor and not having the ability to make the choice yourself to leave…it ISN’T okay. You lose all your power before you’ve ever had the chance to find it. I cannot sugarcoat the truth. I can’t pretend it doesn’t sting. I won’t lie and say that I can understand that the fear of leaving outweighs the primal instinct to protect your child. I won’t pretend I have any perspective on this, other than my own experience. However, there is something I feel the need to convey to the ones who left- To the brave Mama’s (or Dad’s in some cases) that scooped up their children, without a dime in their pocket or any idea how they were going to make it and chose to save themselves and their family from any more pain at the hands of their abuser- I think you’re brave. I think you’re brave because you got out alive and you recognized that you and your kids deserve better. The moment you walked out that door, you made a better life possible. I think you’re brave because even though you didn’t know how you were going to provide for your kids-you found a way to do it while keeping them safe and they will thank you for that one day. I think you’re brave because you broke the chains of control and manipulation your abuser had on you and the moment you did that, you won. I think you’re brave because you told the truth. You didn’t cover up the bruises or hide the tears. You didn’t let the lies that no one would believe you sink in anymore. I think you’re brave because you got help. You reached out of the shadows you were kept in and you refused to be silent anymore. I think you’re brave because you knew it was your spouse or your kids and you chose right. You put their happiness, well-being, and their safety above any conflicted feelings you had for your partner. I think you’re brave because you gave your children a chance at a childhood where they don’t have to cower in fear, where they don’t have to walk on eggshells, where they don’t have to be the bigger person to a person much bigger than them. I think you’re brave because you stood up to a giant and watched him fall. You faced the fear, the threats, the lies, the shouts, the names, the hits, the falls and you got back up and chose to never put yourself in the position to let it happen again. You took back the power and I think you’re brave and so will your kids. Keep going and don’t ever look back, because that’s not where you’re going anymore. Every day that you’re not being hurt is a day you get to heal.
By Tabitha Yates
Thank you again Tabitha for all that you do. We see your worth and your beauty and we want you to know that we are cheering you on all the way.